I have taken to meditating on a daily basis. There are about a zillion ways to do it: guided imagery, closing your eyes and drifting off with some “yoga class” music in the background. I have tried those. Lately, though, I just sit comfortably, eyes closed and try to empty my mind of my own thoughts- “quieting the mind” they call it. It is how some people say they hear God or whatever sort of higher power they are into- even Carl Sagan.
When I first started doing this, I heard my own voice, making a grocery list, remembering something I was pissed off about or wondering how long I had been sitting with my eyes closed. I sometimes ended up making some impossible to-do list in my brain, then starting to freak out about how I would never get it done. I can tell you, I am certainly no expert, but I am fairly certain, this is not the purpose. It sure isn’t “quieting the mind”.
It actually takes practice to clear your mind. I was taught to come up with a word to bring me back to that quiet place, when thoughts started flooding my mind. The word can be anything- love, God, mustard; I don’t think it matters. Since I started, some very cool things have happened.
Yesterday, I sat on my front porch to meditate. We live surrounded by trees. I could hear birds chatting and a squirrel building a nest. When my mind drifted, the word “be” is what brought me back. Kind of funny because that is what those little creatures were doing. They were not comparing themselves to one another. They were not wondering who had the bigger nest. They were just doing what they were made to do. They were just “being”. They each had a purpose, and seemed content. I didn’t ask them how they were feeling, so I am making assumptions; but work with me here.
Later that day, it occurred to me, that I compare myself, my life, my house, my fill-in-the blank to others’ all of the time. In fact, I think comparing and judging are almost an unconscious, constant thing a lot of humans do. The funny thing is, that kind of, often self-defeating comparison is ridiculous, and potentially damaging to our spirits. We all have a purpose, a place in this world. It is not like I looked up at the squirrel’s nest later and thought, “Man, he really rocked that. The other squirrels have been out-shined.”
I also didn’t start feeling less-than because I was not capable of scaling a tree and building a nest like that. Honestly, I do not think my comparing myself to a squirrel is much more logical than my comparing myself to my neighbor, Jessica Simpson, or the kid who makes my coffee at Tim Horton’s every morning. (He does a fantastic job, by the way.) This, for me, has become the purpose of meditation: getting a better understanding of who I am meant to be.
There are a whole bunch of people who want to tell you the right way and the wrong way to meditate, too. That is just more fuel for comparison. How about the way that works for you? That would be your way.
We were each designed for something different. There is no better or worse. The sooner we get off of that mindset, I bet, the happier most of us will be. I know it is helping me.
Now, I am off to see which mama bird made the best nest this year. They are having a contest, you know.
