If you could do anything you wanted and get paid, what would you do?  I am doing it, right now. Writing. I actually had no idea people got paid to blog. I mean, I have learned things from blogs. I have seen some wonderfully creative blogs. It is just so fun to sit and unload words from my brain; I cannot imagine actually being paid for it.

Here is the deal:  I do write for a living. Writing newsy stuff and writing about the junk that just happens to be in my head is not the same thing.

I did start this whole blog thing because I figured sitting in bed writing was a lot better than sitting in bed eating.  I did not get paid to sit in bed and eat, either.  Actually, that is not entirely true. I got paid in lbs. When I was a kid, I pronounced lbs, LIBS. No idea why. No matter, that was my regular paycheck for sitting in bed and eating.

So, I suppose, being paid to sit in bed and eat and write at the same time would be probably too much for me to bear.

The good news is, while I have not been writing in this “online journal” regularly enough, I am making some real progress on the not sitting in bed mindlessly eating.  Now, I sit in bed with a counted out portion of gummy bears- the real Haribo kind- not those mushy, crappy buy-in-bulk bears.  I make great sport out of biting their little heads off and making a screaming sound. Wow, that is just plain crazy.

I was trying to think of what I have really accomplished since I started this blog back in July. I have lost a solid 10 pounds. That, in and of itself is not that impressive, but when you consider that I have gained back a good 20, well… need I say more?

Okay, truth told, because so many people get annoyed by my self-deprecating humor, I have lost three pounds recently. I am really and truly off the gluten. I am really going about all of this in a way that I never have before. 

I have always been in full-on exercise mode or obsessive about some sort of calorie count or ingredient mode. Now, I am being mindful about both. Mindful. Not obsessive.  I am happy to say, that I am keeping track of my trips to the gym, and what I do while I am there. I am also keeping track of what I eat and paying close attention to how I feel during the day. I do not mean that I stop, hug a teddy bear or beat the floor with a rubber bat (a shrink made me do that once- it was super awkward).  What I am paying attention to is my energy level, my overall sense of well-being. 

The really zany thing is it is not normal to be exhausted all the time. It is not normal to be nauseated or have an upset stomach all of the time. It is not normal to be in pain all of the time. If you already had this figured out, yay, you! I did not. I cam to accept all of those things as part of adult life. That is sort of what I observed about adults when I was growing up. Being an adult was exhausting, painful and miserable. I could not wait to grow up, either. 

I think it is easy to ignore what our bodies are trying to tell us because so many people are feeling crappy; it has become the new normal. I am not going to accept that I am supposed to feel any sort of bad way because I am in my mid 40’s.  That is insane. Why on earth would anyone want to live past their mid-40’s if feeling lousy all the time was part of the deal? That is just loony.

So, here I am. I am still a little hefty.  I love the word “hefty”.  The vet referred to my female dog as “a little hefty” at her last checkup. Even the dog knew that was a rude thing to say. 

Where were we?  Oh, I am in my mid 40’s, a little hefty, with decent skin and some joint pain. BUT, I am not going to take this stuff lying down. Hey, I am all for losing weight and having a rocking body, but I want more than that. I want to feel good. I want to feel damn good. Guess what? People in their 40’s, 50’s, 60’s, 70’s and 80’s feel good. I have met some of these people.

If you have made it to the end of this entry, you may find your mind wandering back to the beginning and think, “Leslie, you not only will never get paid to sit in bed and eat; you will never get paid to blog.” 

I am good with that. I will never get paid for a lot of things. I will also never be accused of growing up and/or older miserably. I will do it gracefully. I will do it joyfully. I will also be healthy.

Until next time.